Now ye are the body of Christ

I had a day today where enough things happened that seemed connected that I figured I should write it all down before I forget.

Thing the First: This new video started popping up all over facebook and the LDS social networksphere. So I watched it.



(It's long, so here's a sumup: Mom (who seems to be single) starts her day with three children and looks harried and stressed. Through some texts, we see that she's looking forward to meeting her cousin that night, babysitter and everything. Throughout the day, all sorts of things crop up, kid forgot he had a science project due, neighbor needed emergency babysitting, RS asked her to make dinner for a family in the ward that night....so mom does it all, with much stress and seeming angst. She ends up missing her date with her cousin and cries a bit about it. At the end, her son prays and thanks God for all that they were able to do that day and President Hinckley's awesome 'You never know the good you do' quote is voiced over. Fin.)

Anyway, I wasn't particularly inspired, but whatever. I didn't think much of it and moved right along.

Thing the Second: I received an email from the church saying that I'd been randomly selected to fill out a survey and would I please do it. Of course I want to help out the church, so I got in there and filled it out.

There were general questions about my activity, relationship with the church, general perception of my personal spirituality, etc. There were also some questions asking about my own feelings about the church, my ward, and my sense of belonging. I was honest and said that I have some trouble sometimes because I'm a single woman. I feel like the church is awesome, but that there really isn't a place for me IN it sometimes. Of course I can contribute and serve, but sometimes I want to feel like I fit into a role somewhere you know? It's a long-term feeling that doesn't really cause me problems on most days, but I included it in this survey because it was the truth. No problem, moved right along.

Thing the Third: Literally 60 seconds after I clicked 'submit' on that survey, I got a text from my good friend, M, about that very video I posted above. M is not a member of the LDS church, but loves Mormon stuff. She watches the videos, she watches Conference whenever she gets a chance, and we're going to Time out for Women next month. Basically, she brilliantly goes where she needs to for inspiration, which I really admire. We're also about the same age and both single, which comes into play later on in this conversation. Here's how it started:

And neither can I. I went over to the FB post after this text conversation just to see if anyone braver than me had chimed in on how the video felt kind of weird....but as far as I could see, no one had. All I saw was comment after comment from moms and dads alike saying things like "This is my life" and "I needed to see this today."

This video seemed to bring so much comfort to a lot of these folks and I was humbled to see that. I decided that in this case, I was NOT the target audience, and that's ok. This time I'd keep my kibitzing to myself (and my text messages) (and this blog) (ok, sorry, there is kibitzing).*

Anyway, after admitting that we couldn't possibly understand what it was like to be a mom, M and I started talking about being single female members of churches that don't really have a spot for us. M talked about her experience in the Catholic church, how there are programs through high school, but "then you don't see young adults until they need their kids baptized." The single groups in her church are for the over 40 crowd. In this case, all I could say was "I feel you, girl."

Sure, I don't do as much as I could to participate in my local mid-single events (Yes, we're mid-singles. No longer young, not quite just 'single'. We're mid), but I also don't feel like we've been set up for success there, either. I think I just need an attitude adjustment, as per usual.

I told M that I really feel like the leaders of the church are mindful of me. There have been so many talks and articles about women who are more like me (women who work outside the home, not married, childless, etc.) as well as singles in general. However, I don't know that I've felt this 'mindfulness' on the local level...

That is, until a couple weeks ago. So I've been serving as primary chorister in my wonderful amazing ward for the past 3 years. I think I've hit my sell by date with that calling and the bishopric (or the poor primary presidency who sees me wilt from week to week) seemed to agree. I just got a new calling. A new new calling (Doctor WHO!) that never existed before. The bishop made sure to explain to me that this calling came right from the area presidency which had directed that stakes in this region tell their wards to make this happen. I don't know what the official name is, but I am essentially the single adult rep on the Ward Council.

(For those who don't know, every ward pulls all of their leaders together a couple times a month, sometimes weekly, to discuss the needs of individual folks and families in the ward and to basically share info and make plans for upcoming stuff. All presidents are included in this council, primary, YW, YM, missionaries, relief society, etc. It's a hugely important meeting, as it also is the place where the leaders discuss how best to help the ward, right down to families who may need it. So there's that.)

Mind-bogglingly enough, there has never been a single adult representative on this council before. There really isn't an auxiliary for us, so we never really had....'representation' there. I have to admit that rectifying this is a huge deal. I feel like I've been informally advocating for single adults in the church for the past 10 years, and now it's been made official. It's a bit scary because there's really no 'job description' at this point. Right now I'm just showing up, and that's enough for me. I'm super grateful for an awesome bishop who sees clearly the importance of including our voices in the leadership of the ward. It's comforting.

Anyway, after whining to M about feeling marginalized as a single person, I had to admit to her this most recent development that is my new calling. Her words were "I'm excited that they started something new." So am I, M. So am I. It's a good reminder for me that inspired leadership will make changes needed to address the changing demographic that they're serving as directed by the Lord. It happens slowly, but it happens.


I have no idea how I got here from that video at the beginning, but there you go. I guess it's a day in which I acknowledge the church's outreach attempts to two demographics under its stewardship. I think I needed to make that connection. I'm important to this work. I know it in my heart and soul, and I'm grateful to be counted. Everyone else is equally as important, and their work can and will look drastically different from mine. And the great news is, that is the way it's SUPPOSED to be.

From 1 Corinthians chapter 12:

18 But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.

 19 And if they were all one member, where were the body?

 20 But now are they many members, yet but one body.

 21 And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.

 22 Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary:

 23 And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.

 24 For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:

 25 That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.

 26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

 27 Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

* I am a bit nervous about anything the propagates the 'you should keep trying to do it all because you can make a difference and be exhausted!' point of view, as M pointed out above. I was surprised to see something like that come from the church because, lately, they've been a lot better about promoting the whole 'balance' thing. But I think I missed the point of the video in general, so I'm not gonna worry about it. :)