the elements are eternal

This is another one of those posts that come about after several things in my life CONNECT to teach me something important (or remind me of it). You know how that goes? You read something somewhere, someone says something sometime, you see something on the internet another time, and then BAM. It all seems to be intertwined for the specific purpose of teaching you an everlasting truth? It doesn't happen often but when it does I sometimes I feel like I just need to share the crazy miracle of that lesson learned.

This is a big one, too. It's personal and pokey/hurty/ouchy/painful for me and perhaps many of you. It has to do with body image, which seems to be my theme as of late. I've struggled with an all-consuming obsessive hatred of my own physical body for so many years and my goal recently has been to reach a point where I can just exist and free up all the energy and mental 'real estate' that's been dedicated to the fixing and the hating and the sorrow that comes with that. I dream of reaching that brain state of nirvana where I can accept myself the way I am and treat myself with respect and love and just do things and try things without fear of how I look or what people think. This desire in and of itself shows some progress for me. I've moved from the constant wish to 'fix it' to the 'how can I just live my life?' question which is a big deal.

And let me tell you something: I am getting closer and closer to what I want. It's the most liberating relief I've EVER felt. Changing my way of thinking is not easy and will probably be a life-long process, but I can feel it happening and has altered my perspective forever.

I've been specifically praying for help with this, asking Heavenly Father how I can make peace with the reality of the way my body looks and is (and maybe always will be!) and even come to love and treat it with kindness and affection. I'm here to say that He's definitely listening and helping me learn important lessons about this topic. As it happens, a recent set of connections which helped me take a big step in this process all happened within the past three weeks. Here they are, in chronological order:

Thing 1: My scripture study on 9/30/2014. Started with 2 Nephi 2:14:

14 And now, my sons, I speak unto you these things for your profit and learning; for there is a God, and he hath created all things, both the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are, both things to act and things to be acted upon.

That final phrase kind of stuck with me, so I started to look up the cross references, which lead me to Doctrine and Covenants 93:28-40. Here are a few verses I pulled out with my emphasis added....

29 Man was also in the beginning with God. Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither indeed can be. 
30 All truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it, to act for itself, as all intelligence also; otherwise there is no existence.

33 For man is spirit. The elements are eternal, and spirit and element, inseparably connected, receive a fulness of joy;
34 And when separated, man cannot receive a fulness of joy. 

35 The elements are the tabernacle of God; yea, man is the tabernacle of God, even temples;

I remember that phrase and how it seemed to hit me in the head like a mallet: The elements are eternal. This is the body that's going with me through death, the resurrection, and my eternities. THIS VERY BODY! I sat there, stunned. I looked at my hands, turning them over in front of me, and for one blessed minute I had a glimpse of how miraculous they were. All of those eternal elements working together to create my living tabernacle. I was amazed and I wrote this:

My body is an eternal thing. I can't receive a fulness of joy without it. I am a sentient light and truth-filled being walking around down here independently. What a miracle. Right now my elements and spirit are connected. I can receive joy because of this. later on when they're connected forever, I'll be able to receive the fulness of joy. 

God built billions and billions of tabernacles and temples to house these spirits/intelligences and mine is completely unlike any other. It was chosen for me with care and given to me as a wonderful gift...but I'm still one of His temples. Built with eternal materials by God Himself. How can I be unhappy with this gift? How can I look on it disdainfully? Impossible. The elements are eternal.

Since that day I've said that phrase over and over to myself as I look at myself in the mirror or worry about my clothes fitting right, or decide that my eyes are just spaced too closely together.  It's become my calm phrase. "The elements are eternal." It's my way of reminding myself that "Hey! God made this as a gift to house your eternal intelligence and it will last FOREVER. Isn't that amazing?!"

Thing 2: General Conference weekend, 10/5. President Monson's amazing talk in which he said:

The primary purposes of our existence upon the earth are to obtain a body of flesh and bones, to gain experience that could come only through separation from our heavenly parents, and to see if we would keep the commandments.

I remember thinking something like "Wow. That's pretty straightforward." In that one sentence, a prophet of God explained quite succinctly exactly what my body is for. It is not for anything else but gaining experience and bringing me one step closer to being like God. So when I ask myself if my body is living up the measure of its creation, I have to say "Yes. Yes it is." Because here I am. Nice job, body! You're fantastic!!

Thing 3: Posted Friday, 10/17 by Glennon Doyle Melton

A lot of you are probably familiar with Ms. Melton's writing, maybe just on Facebook. She's a pretty hilarious writer and founder of Momastery, an online community, and its partner charity organization Together Rising. My favorite thing about her is that she writes from the trenches of motherhood, womanhood, and Christian-hood and includes all the confusing things and strange occurrences that go with each of those. She's had to work through her own share of pain and struggles, which include a long fight with bulimia and alcoholism.

This week she went on OWN and ended up talking about her own experience with body image. She shared this 5 minute clip of her interview:



The topic may make you wonder why I would care about this since a single Mormon girl is probably not TOO worried about her sex life at this point (har har). But I would recommend that everyone watch it because her message is profound. She ends up basically stating the same message found in the Doctrine and Covenants passage I quoted above: The body and the spirit (and the mind) are connected. They come together to make us who we are. I was kind of stunned when she talked about how she sometimes looks at her hands in amazement and marvels at the miracle they are. Connection made...

And finally, Thing 4: Today, Glennon posted this video again along with an email she received from a viewer named Laura. In this email, Laura said:

I think for so many reasons we don't show up in or for our bodies because "it's not ready yet." Or ruined forever. Not skinny enough not fast enough not ..... I really think this is the root cause of human suffering...

Amen. It's time for me to show up for and in my body. My mind and body together make my soul. They are not meant to be separated and, in the end, they won't be. I can't be who I am, I can't experience real joy, and I can't return to live with God without this body and it deserves all the love and respect I can give it. The elements are eternal.

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For those of you interested in reading more on the topic of body image and self-love, I recommend starting with the wonderful identical twin PhDs over at beautyredefined.net. Check out the posts on their fantastic blog if you're interested in some good, research-based thoughts on how we can redefine body image.

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