By the Power of the Holy Ghost

1 Nephi 10

I am so exhausted tonight the I'm going to read another short chapter and save juicy chapter 11 for tomorrow. This chapter is fantastic though. It puts Nephi in the role of observer (again) and he speaks about the teachings of his father. And guess what they're doing? Yep. Dwelling in a tent. (v 16)

Some thoughts:

in v2-13, Lehi outlines the basic history of the Jews and the other tribes of Israel. Blessed, scattered, Christ comes, scattered, blessed. It seems to me as if the Jews as a people have gone through and will go through a larger version of what we all go through in this life. They have been given choices (including that to accept Jesus Christ) and trials and gone through periods of great strife and darkness. But they will all be redeemed by the Savior in the end 'in the Lord's own due time'.

What I love though is that Lehi knows exactly where he and his family fall in this plan.

...It must needs be that we should be led with one accord into the land of promise, unto the fulfilling of the word of the Lord, that we should be scattered upon all the face of the earth.

He's perfectly aware that this journey of his is the beginning of a new nation of people. I can't imagine what that must have felt like. I wonder how many of his family members caught the vision with him and understood how important their trek was.

I know Nephi eventually got it. But I think the most comforting thing about this chapter is that he didn't ALWAYS have it. He says in v. 17, "I, Nephi, was desirous also that I might see, and hear, and know of these things, by the power of the Holy Ghost, which is the gift of God unto all those who diligently seek him." I have to admit that I am so comforted when I realize that Nephi didn't always know the right answer. I imagine him scratching his head as he listened to his father's visions and dreams. I think of him longing for home a little bit and wondering why they're traveling so far, why they're waiting so long...and I love that Nephi knew the Lord well enough to understand that he could ask and find out for himself. What a wonderful blessing that verse is.

Nephi uses the phrase 'by the power of the Holy Ghost' or 'by the Holy ghost' 4 times in this chapter. He winds it up with "And the Holy Ghost giveth authority that I should speak these things, and deny them not." V 17-20 are excellent reminders to me that what worked for Adam worked for Moses and worked for Nephi and will work for ME. It's almost as if Nephi is prodding me with his reminder stick, all the way down through the ages.

For he that diligently seeketh shall find; and the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto them, by the power of the Holy ghost, as well in these times as in times of old, and as well in times of old as in times to come; wherefore, the course of the Lord is one eternal round.

Questions for later: What mysteries of God would I like to know more about anyway? What of those have already been unfolded to me when I've diligently sought answers?

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Dwelling in a Tent

1 Nephi 9: (I didn't get the idea for this blog until a few days into my new reading of the Book of Mormon. So we skip ahead a little. To sum up: Lehi and family ditch Jerusalem, the boys head back twice, once for the scriptures and once for wives, and Lehi dreams of the Tree of Life. There you have it.)

This is one of those short interlude chapters where Nephi talks to us 'sidebar'-like. Mormon does these really well, too, but I love it when Nephi does. He tells us about his own revelations and talks to us about writing what he's writing. It's really illuminating. I bet he had no idea how important his small observations and little turns of phrase would be to me almost 3,000 years later.

1 And all these things did my father see, hear, and speak, as he dwelt in a tent, in the valley of Lemuel, and also a great many more things, which cannot be written upon these plates.

First of all, "a great many more things"? Wow. I wonder what those were.

Second of all, about the dwelling in a tent. Nephi mentions the tent dwelling twice within a few chapters. I assume he does it to let us know that the family was staying put - that they weren't traveling and were instead simply camped out for a while. This is a really important observation:

- Lehi was told to get OUT of Jerusalem ASAP. He did so. You would think that he probably got instructions about where to GO. Right? Yeah, I don't think he did. He just left with a rather vague-ish assurance from the Lord of a promised land at the end of the journey.

- Heavenly Father is loading them up for serious travel and re-civilization. Scriptures. Wives. Revelation. They're not only stopped to gather provisions and means of procreation, they're stopped for Lehi to be taught and instructed. Nephi speaks earlier about Lehi combing through the brass plates and learning about their geneology. I really believe Lehi must have been learning at the feet of the Lord during that time. Perhaps the tent/camp was Lehi's version of Mount Sinai-- a place for worship, waiting, and learning. We know from chapter 8 (Tree of Life) and the scripture quoted above that Lehi received some amazing instruction while they waited around.

- If you look at the time stamp in the scriptures, it seems that they 'dwelt' for 8 years. Holy moly. That's a long time to wait after leaving the comforts of home in such a hurry. They all must have wondered what they were doing there. Nephi simply tells us they were 'dwelling'. In tents. But the few precious chapters we have that take place during this time give us so many gifts of instruction.

So what does that mean for me? It's kind of...sobering. And exciting. And it's definitely something I've learned a few times already. Never hurts to go over it again though.

See I've gone through a really bizarre past 6 years. I started a promising career that I had to ditch after three years for several reasons. It broke my heart and crushed my confidence. I've been blessed to have a job since then, but it's been really hard and I'm barely scraping by. I feel like I use all of my energy to keep track of my finances and not let my job drive me nuts. I look at my degrees and my seemingly purposeless life and I have to fight really hard not to be dreary about it all. Sometimes I lose that fight.

But if I think of Lehi and his family, I feel better. I just saw in my scriptures I wrote "2008-2011: Me, dwelling in a tent. Receiving instruction. Staying put." When I think about it, that is true. Not that I haven't fought against it. Sheesh. I have tried so hard to get a better job, to move away, to start fresh or just go somewhere new...and it's been like pushing on a brick wall. When I'm in my right mind I stop and trust the Lord. I think it's just hard for me to trust that when the Lord wants me to move along that I will recognize that. You know? But he's not an idiot. He knows me. He knows what it will take to make it happen. In the mean time, I just need to sit.

What's interesting about this sitting is that I have no plan. I didn't realize what a 'stupor of thought' really meant until I reached this period in my life. I had no idea what I would do next and every time I tried to think of it or come up with a plan (more school? What profession? When? How to finance? Move away? Where? Find another job somewhere? How?) my mind would just go blank. It's still that way almost 4 years later.

And wow. 4 years is a long time for me. I'm impatient to the point of yelling out loud at stop lights. But Lehi's family dwelt in a tent. For 8 years or more. They learned and did amazing things. When I think about whether or not I want to be like Lehi or Nephi, the answer is obvious. So, I guess I need to be willing to 'dwell in a tent' for as long as it takes. The thought of being instructed and given gifts I'll need for what's to come is an exciting one. And most comforting is this verse from the same chapter:

6 But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen.

I love it when Nephi says "And thus it is." It's so...solid.

Questions for later: What instruction and gifts have I already received during this 'dwelling in a tent' time? What promises has the Lord made to me that "he hath all power unto the fulfilling" of them?

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Starting it off...

I don't know why I'm so self-conscious. I already have an online journal full of over-sharing and so much crazy. And I'm reasonably confident that no one will ever read this blog but me.

But, I guess I need an explanatory post.

I was so determined to receive some revelatory inspiration during this past General Conference. (October 2011) I sat on my couch and watched every session with a pen in my hand. This was an amazing exercise for me and my analytical brain. Hearing all the talks within one week, including the wonderful RS session, helped me find some patterns and themes. What's so awesome is that everyone else watching probably came up with their own patterns and themes. That's what's so great about the Spirit.

Anyway, my three big themes were Time Management, Prayer, and The Book of Mormon. I figure this blog covers a couple of these themes.

I've been trying to spend my time on the internet in a more productive manner. I'm on Facebook way less (and it was HARD), and I spend less time reading my entertainment news. *sigh* I miss them both, but they were time sinks for me. This blog will give me a chance to be on the internet, sharing, typing, and thinking, while at the same time working toward my goals.

As for reading the Book of Mormon, I just wrapped up another read through just after Conference ended. It was so clear to me that I needed to read it again, or study it consistently...but I was having a really hard time coming up with a way to do it that wasn't just reading a chapter before bed. I have a scripture book in which I write my thoughts and scriptural ramblings, but I am also excessively lazy. Typing here feels so much like wasting time on the internet that I may just be more likely to get my 'searching and pondering' done in a way that will be meaningful for me.

The praying part is the only one of my themes that this blog doesn't cover, but I'm working on that. I know that just thinking 'out loud' about the scriptures I'm studying every day will be a good exercise for me. I hope to have enough when I'm done to be able to publish this blog as a personal keepsake for myself. The thought of writing my own little rambly, bloggy, silly, personal book about the Book of Mormon is so fun that I just might stick with this. That's the dream anyway.

The fact is, I already know the Book of Mormon is a true book of scripture. It truly testifies and teaches of Jesus Christ's mission and the Plan of Salvation. I have read it many times and I have a strong testimony of how consistent study of it can affect my life for the better. I am in NEED of this 'better' right now.

So this is me. Making an effort.

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