Dwelling in a Tent

1 Nephi 9: (I didn't get the idea for this blog until a few days into my new reading of the Book of Mormon. So we skip ahead a little. To sum up: Lehi and family ditch Jerusalem, the boys head back twice, once for the scriptures and once for wives, and Lehi dreams of the Tree of Life. There you have it.)

This is one of those short interlude chapters where Nephi talks to us 'sidebar'-like. Mormon does these really well, too, but I love it when Nephi does. He tells us about his own revelations and talks to us about writing what he's writing. It's really illuminating. I bet he had no idea how important his small observations and little turns of phrase would be to me almost 3,000 years later.

1 And all these things did my father see, hear, and speak, as he dwelt in a tent, in the valley of Lemuel, and also a great many more things, which cannot be written upon these plates.

First of all, "a great many more things"? Wow. I wonder what those were.

Second of all, about the dwelling in a tent. Nephi mentions the tent dwelling twice within a few chapters. I assume he does it to let us know that the family was staying put - that they weren't traveling and were instead simply camped out for a while. This is a really important observation:

- Lehi was told to get OUT of Jerusalem ASAP. He did so. You would think that he probably got instructions about where to GO. Right? Yeah, I don't think he did. He just left with a rather vague-ish assurance from the Lord of a promised land at the end of the journey.

- Heavenly Father is loading them up for serious travel and re-civilization. Scriptures. Wives. Revelation. They're not only stopped to gather provisions and means of procreation, they're stopped for Lehi to be taught and instructed. Nephi speaks earlier about Lehi combing through the brass plates and learning about their geneology. I really believe Lehi must have been learning at the feet of the Lord during that time. Perhaps the tent/camp was Lehi's version of Mount Sinai-- a place for worship, waiting, and learning. We know from chapter 8 (Tree of Life) and the scripture quoted above that Lehi received some amazing instruction while they waited around.

- If you look at the time stamp in the scriptures, it seems that they 'dwelt' for 8 years. Holy moly. That's a long time to wait after leaving the comforts of home in such a hurry. They all must have wondered what they were doing there. Nephi simply tells us they were 'dwelling'. In tents. But the few precious chapters we have that take place during this time give us so many gifts of instruction.

So what does that mean for me? It's kind of...sobering. And exciting. And it's definitely something I've learned a few times already. Never hurts to go over it again though.

See I've gone through a really bizarre past 6 years. I started a promising career that I had to ditch after three years for several reasons. It broke my heart and crushed my confidence. I've been blessed to have a job since then, but it's been really hard and I'm barely scraping by. I feel like I use all of my energy to keep track of my finances and not let my job drive me nuts. I look at my degrees and my seemingly purposeless life and I have to fight really hard not to be dreary about it all. Sometimes I lose that fight.

But if I think of Lehi and his family, I feel better. I just saw in my scriptures I wrote "2008-2011: Me, dwelling in a tent. Receiving instruction. Staying put." When I think about it, that is true. Not that I haven't fought against it. Sheesh. I have tried so hard to get a better job, to move away, to start fresh or just go somewhere new...and it's been like pushing on a brick wall. When I'm in my right mind I stop and trust the Lord. I think it's just hard for me to trust that when the Lord wants me to move along that I will recognize that. You know? But he's not an idiot. He knows me. He knows what it will take to make it happen. In the mean time, I just need to sit.

What's interesting about this sitting is that I have no plan. I didn't realize what a 'stupor of thought' really meant until I reached this period in my life. I had no idea what I would do next and every time I tried to think of it or come up with a plan (more school? What profession? When? How to finance? Move away? Where? Find another job somewhere? How?) my mind would just go blank. It's still that way almost 4 years later.

And wow. 4 years is a long time for me. I'm impatient to the point of yelling out loud at stop lights. But Lehi's family dwelt in a tent. For 8 years or more. They learned and did amazing things. When I think about whether or not I want to be like Lehi or Nephi, the answer is obvious. So, I guess I need to be willing to 'dwell in a tent' for as long as it takes. The thought of being instructed and given gifts I'll need for what's to come is an exciting one. And most comforting is this verse from the same chapter:

6 But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning; wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen.

I love it when Nephi says "And thus it is." It's so...solid.

Questions for later: What instruction and gifts have I already received during this 'dwelling in a tent' time? What promises has the Lord made to me that "he hath all power unto the fulfilling" of them?