Driven forth before the wind

(I keep thinking that I may just read and not post here because some nights I won't have anything to say. Pfft. I should know better than that, I guess.)

1 Nephi 18

After Nephi is loosed from the bonds he'd been in for four days at the hands of his angry brothers, he prayed. After a terrible storm had driven them back and made them lose ground for four days, Nephi's brothers FINALLY loosed him. Only in fear of their lives would they have done so. But Nephi has a few words for me at this point:

16 Nevertheless, I did look unto my God, and I did praise him all the day long; and I did not murmur against the Lord because of mine afflictions.

I just heard about a relative of mine who stopped going to church because she's got the 'single lady' blues. Heck, don't we all? But she blames Heavenly Father for her unhappiness, in a way. Do I do that? I'm not sure. I seem to exist in a state of discontent more often than I should, but I don't get mad at Heavenly Father for my problems. I mostly get mad at myself for my inability to be patient. It's definitely a problem.

Nephi didn't murmur at his trials because he has complete trust in the Lord. To the point of "Whatever happens, happens. I know that you have it taken care of when all is said and done." And, really, even Heavenly Father won't control someone's choices, even when they're awful and hurt someone as good as Nephi was. Nephi knew he'd have to ride it out, and like Joseph Smith, he knew he wouldn't be taken from the Earth before Heavenly Father wanted him to be. His will and the Lord's will were almost perfectly aligned.

21 And it came to pass after they had loosed me, behold, I took the compass, and it did work whither I desired it. And it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord; and after I had prayed the winds did cease, and the storm did cease, ad there was a great calm.

The compass worked the way Nephi wanted it because Nephi was in an almost perfect state of wanting exactly what the Lord wanted. Nephi's will was 'swallowed up' in His and his desires and wishes weren't different from Heavenly Father's.

I think that I want what the Lord wants....my happiness, my developed talents, my service to others, etc. But, honestly, I usually don't have the energy to find out what He wants because I'm so busy telling him what I want. And, sure. I add 'if it be according to thy will' in my requests, but do I really mean it? Have I bothered to try to find out what He wants? In general? For me specifically?

Well, yes. I have. But I don't trust my ability to understand what I'm being taught and I doubt. I'm impatient and don't want to wait. I'm a complete weakling. And so yeah, Heavenly Father has that to deal with when He's working with me. I know he's infinitely patient though. Thank goodness. But I need to remember that the 'great calm' that Nephi gets doesn't come until he lets it all go.

8 And it came to pass after we had all gone down into the ship, and had taken with us our provisions and things which had been commanded us, we did put forth into the sea and were driven forth before the wind toward the promised land.

No amount of talent, brilliance, preparation, or teamwork could have gotten them to the promised land. In the end, it was the wind that had to take them the rest of the way. This is precisely the way the Atonement works for us. I love the scriptures. :)