Knowing how the story ends

1 Nephi 11-12

I love these chapters because they expand upon Lehi's dream. You know Lehi must have seen all of these things and maybe he even told them to his family. But maybe he didn't and Nephi is seeing them because he sought to know and the mysteries of God are being unfolded to him and him alone.

All I know is that, after this vision, there is no way that he can misunderstand the purpose of their journey. He sees that his family is the beginning of several great nations. He sees the Savior come to them. He sees his own people eventually destroyed.

That last one is an interesting thought, too. Knowing that 1000 years would bring an end to his people...wouldn't that make you want to say "Why bother?" Well, maybe it would make ME want to say that. I'm sure Nephi had a better understanding of how things work and why this was necessary. Just because that final generation dwindles in unbelief doesn't mean that there won't be others during that 1000 years who will make good choices. I wonder if Nephi was able to see some of those standouts. Alma choosing Abinadi's words. The people at the waters of Mormon. The Lamanites who chose to believe the teachings of Ammon and Aaron. Were it not for Lehi, Nephi and this arduous journey to the promised land, those dear people wouldn't have had the same choices available to them. Maybe they wouldn't have had the chance to learn of Christ. It's for this group that it's all worth it for Nephi.

Still, it must have been hard for him to know that his brothers would turn so completely against him. And you know what? That makes me love Nephi even more. The Lord made it pretty clear that there would be a divide. Lamanites. Nephites. Nephi knows that his brothers are 'past feeling' and will not choose the Lord over the temptations of the devil. And yet, Nephi keeps trying. He keeps teaching them and he's still patient with them. I know he must have understood a bit about how much they were loved by his own parents and also by the Lord Himself. He didn't give up hope. I love that.

In other thoughts about these chapters, I love 11:17.

17 And the mists of darkness are the temptations of the devil, which blindeth the eyes, and hardeneth the hearts of the children of men, and leadeth them away into broad roads, that they perish and are lost.

"Blindeth the eyes and heardeneth the hearts..." Those are really great descriptors. I'm trying to think of my own personal temptations and how they blind me and harden my heart. I think, for me, what Satan tries to do most consistently is blind me to the true nature of Heavenly Father. He tries to coax me into believing, little by little, that I'm forgotten or small. That I'm unimportant in the grand scheme. That Heavenly Father may think to help me out once I'm less of a pathetic loser. Heh. Those thoughts are all dangerous because I come so close sometimes to giving them credence.

This is where the hard heart comes in. If I don't believe that there's anyone in my corner, I brace myself to deal with problems on my own. I rely on my own strength and pridefully decide that FINE! I can take care of myself, small and insignificant as I am. Whereas a soft heart acknowledges the hand of the Lord in all things. Having a soft heart means that I also have to acknowledge his loving-kindness and care for me. I can't admit that everything is in His hands without also admitting that He knows who I am and remembers me always. Satan hates it when I remember these two things.